But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
