Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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