are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
