Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
