I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
