I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
