I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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