apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
