I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
