I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
