so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
