Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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