First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
