I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize