You made me cry and you don't even care
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
