so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
