His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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