we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
