told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
