yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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