it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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