Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just forgot I was standing up.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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