That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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