been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
