I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
