Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
