She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
