Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
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I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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