i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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