can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
