My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize