Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
