Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
