you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
