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Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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