yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
