I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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