I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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