He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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