Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
