I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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