i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
