I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
