Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
