I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize