I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
