it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
