: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
