Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
