Do vagina's smell?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
