another moral hangover. fuck.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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