I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
