YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
