I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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