she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
