SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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