I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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