I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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